The Garage, the Weed, and the Destination I Thought I Knew
By Mkhululi | A Moment of Stillness. A Mindfuck of Meaning.
I found myself sitting at a shopping complex.
No intention.
No real plan.
Just… stillness.
A garage stood in front of me. I wasn’t there to fill up. I wasn’t even there on purpose. But I couldn’t move either. I just sat. Present. Breathing. Watching.
And then the voices began—not the out‑loud kind. Just the quiet whispers of judgment in my own head:
“Why did you smoke that weed?”
“You said you were done.”
“You lied to yourself again.”
I’d been doing well. I told myself: no more. And yet here I was, battling the old habit. Before I even left the house, I had wanted a cigarette. Lit up with excitement. Then stopped myself.
“Relax,” I told myself.
“Just be. Just be here.”
So I sat in the car. No destination in mind. Just energy flowing. Thoughts shifting. Then something subtle happened. I looked at the garage again. And it hit me—
“I actually wanted to come here.”
Not consciously.
Not with intent.
But on a deeper level… I was meant to stop here.
Not just to refuel my car, but maybe to refuel my soul.
So I filled up.
No rush.
No shame.
Just obeying a feeling.
The Journey Is the Message
I know where I’m going.
At least… I think I do.
I have an image in my head of where I want to be—what the place looks like, how it will feel once I arrive. But the truth is: I’ve never been there before. I’m chasing a mental picture—a Durban in my head. But I’ve never driven that road. I’ve never walked that path. And just like life, I don’t know how long it’s going to take. Some routes seem shorter but pull you away. Other roads are longer, more painful, more silent… but they lead you exactly where you need to go.
The Mind Will Trick You. So What?
Sudden thoughts hijack the moment. Distractions. Delays. Desires. They whisper:
“Turn here.”
“Try that.”
“Forget where you were going.”
But here’s what I’m learning:
As long as I remember the destination, I don’t fear the detours.
We all carry an inner GPS. Call it spirit. Call it intuition. Call it alignment. But too often, we stall because we believe our “car”—our body, circumstances, mental health—isn’t good enough. We sit in judgment. We pity ourselves. Fear puts us in park.
Here’s the raw truth:
Your car is already on the road. You are already in motion. You may not be perfect, but you’re progressing.
Fill Up and Drive Anyway
Sometimes life leads you to fill up at a garage you didn’t even know you needed.
Sometimes the cigarette you didn’t smoke is proof you’re stronger than yesterday.
Sometimes the weed you did smoke is part of your lesson—not your downfall.
It’s all part of the same drive.
So next time you’re at a dead stop,
Next time fear whispers lies,
Next time it feels like your destination is too far…
Just breathe. Just watch. Just fill up. And drive anyway.
You don’t need to know the length of the road. You just need to trust that every stop, every detour, every delay—is a part of getting there.
Even if you’ve never been.
Vah Afrika Proverb:
“The road does not demand perfection—it responds to persistence.”
You are not lost. You are learning the way.
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